Monday, April 18, 2016

Sad Day - 18.4.16

Today is the darkest and saddest day in my personal life. I was accused by Peter Wittendorp whom I used to care, treasure, value and love dearly of something I didn't do. It wasn't a one-off accusation but 2x. I'm feeling very hurt now. I never thought that he would hurt me this deeply and badly. I'm feeling like being stabbed in my heart repeatedly. I trusted him not to hurt me, but I was naive to think so. I'm speechless now as I can't think of any words to describe my hurt and heartache. Is a long overdue wake-up call. I just didn't expect it to hit me in this form.

I feel very stupid now! Stupid for caring. Stupid for wanting to help. Stupid for being trusting. Stupid for believing and seeing the good in him. Stupid to think he is genuinely a good hearted person. Stupid to think that he won't hurt me repetitively. So scary as I don't know who is him anymore. I thought I understood 90% of who he is, but not anymore. He shows me a side that is mean, cold, calculated and selfish. Very scary. A stranger to me now. We used to be so closed. All the care, trust and faith I had in him are destroyed the moment he accused me of something I didn't do. How could those devious thought of me crossed his mind and left his mouth?? 😔😔. He is uncaring and heartless.

I accept my stupidity, learn from it and make sure I won't repeat the same mistake again. But I won't allow it to change the core me. I'll not shed another drop of tear for him as it isn't worth it. I'm still feeling hurt and sad, but I believe tomorrow will be a brand new day, brand new chapter and brand new start for me. My heart dies tonight. My conscious is clear and I can sleep well. Tomorrow will be a new heart beating again.

The universe is definitely teaching me a lesson. A painful one for sure. Be strong Serena!! You will pull through. Doesn't matter what Peter thinks or accused you off. As long as you know you are innocent, that's all that matters.

Smile silly girl :-)!! Tomorrow is definitely a brand new day with bright blue sky!! I will continue to live my life as excitingly and colourfully as possible. I will heal by writing.


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