Am I Happy??

A question I have been asking myself a fair bit lately? To be honest, I don't have a firm and clear answer for myself. Haha. I'm not sad or unhappy, that I'm certain. Although I laugh less now, but I'm still carefree and I still had a great time when I went out with my brother or friends. I still smile every morning when I look at myself in the mirror. Haha. That's how I always start my day irregardless of the time I woke up - giving myself a big smile to start my day 😁!

I'm feeling a tad restless because I haven't figure out how to achieve my financial goal yet. It is a tall order and some days I have doubt if I'm able to pull it off. Then I will remind myself that if I want it badly enough and believe in myself, I will achieve it. I just need to be patient, stay true to the path and I will get there. Just a matter of timing. But because I'm ambitious, I want to see immediate result! Haha! So now I'm learning to take it easy and trust that things will fall into place at the right timing. I know I can do it when I put my mind to it!

So am I happy with my life? I can't say I'm not happy, I just feel that I can improve it further. I'm still learning, adapting an accepting the changes I'm experiencing in me. Some days I feel frustrated as my mind won't allow me to dwell into my emotions as I don't know when I became so good at blocking my own thoughts! Haha! Instead of over-thinking, I just allow myself to go with the flow and handle challenges/obstacles as objectively and calmly as possible. I have also learned that I don't need to have the last word for every argument and I don't need to react to every situation. Basically I have learned how to control my reactions to people actions! Which makes my life more peaceful and I feel less agitated or annoyed. Haha. So I guess this indirectly makes me a bit more happy as I don't need to deal with unnecessary dramas!

As I write this post, I might have found the answer to my own question! I'm as happy as I can be and there are room to increase my happiness quotient. I have to accept the fact that I still need time to heal and get over my broken heart. And I definitely need to find more adrenaline rush activities to do/accomplish so that I will continue living my life as colourful and robust as possible. I need to stabilise my financial so that I will have more $$$ to pursue my adventures 😁! I think 1 of the main reason I'm not as happy as I should is because I still need to get out of a few financial shit hole that I put myself in. Once I resolve those financial issues, I will be more free to pursue my personal adventures. The freedom to pursue my adventures will definitely put a big 🤣 on my face and makes me happier. I have learned that I can't rely on people to make me happy, but I have to make myself happy. Relying on people to make me happy is as good as giving them a free pass to control my life and be at their mercy! My own happiness is solely my own responsibility!

Anyway, in conclusion I'm as happy as I can be at this present moment. I hope to increase and improve my happy quotient as I go along. I hope that 1 day I can feel my heart give me a big 🤣 and when I feel that I know I have truly achieve happiness from within! I know my  heart will smile for me 1 day soon 😂!

I wish everyone of you find your own happiness! Cheers!