My Playground - Nexo Restaurant & Bar

My baby, my playground, my pride and joy, will not be mine anymore starting from July. 29 months of owning and running this restaurant and tonight I bade farewell to it with a few good friends. Next month onwards it will belongs to a new owner. We sold the restaurant to a Korean couple lock, stock and barrel.

This restaurant gave me a lot of great memories. Our pre-opening was on Jan 10th 2014. We rushed to open because we had an ex HK TVB Artist, Kate Tsui (picture below), coming to attend a friend birthday dinner which was held at Nexo. I could still remember that we were all rushing and working till very late the night before the event to make sure everything were in placed. And our furnitures were delayed so we had to use rented furniture. It was crazy and exciting at the same time.
There were some hiccups on that night, but overall it was a good night and it was a privilege to have Kate Tsui as our 1st guest of honour.

Subsequently, I had the opportunities to meet a few more HK celebrities thanks to my younger brother's connection. Below were a few of the celebrities. 

Ron Ng Cheuk Hei & I

Ron Ng, Tavia Yeung (white dress) & Nancy Wu (yellow dress)

Without the restaurant, I wouldn't had the opportunities to host them and be closed up to them. They looked pretty and handsome even without any make up. 

Aside from HK celebrities, I had also made a lot of new friends, expanding my circle of friends and enriching my life. Some of these friends will be lifelong friends. Aside from friendship, I also learned how to enjoy fine wines, good whiskeys, brandy and good food. And most importantly, my dream of owning a restaurant and bar is fulfilled and checked off my bucket lists.

A lot of people said I was crazy to open a restaurant and bar as F&B is a tough business and even more tougher for me because I didn't had any experienced prior to Nexo so me and my partners we literally jumped in blind. We made so many mistakes and learned from it. It became my full-time job, but without a salary. So for 2 full years, not only I didn't get any salary, I also need to pump in more money to the restaurant to keep it afloat. And finally, we decided it was time to give up as we couldn't  think of any more ways to stabilise the business.

It had also became too stressful for me, worrying about the business, sales and expenses. I was the one who ran the entire business and I just got fed up and tired. We lost substantial money, but I have no regret. It doesn't scare me away from still wanting to own a restaurant & bar in the future. I still want to have a place of my own to hangout with my friends and make more new friends. I will be smarter and prepared in my next F&B venture. 

So this is just a temporary goodbye from F&B industry. I SHALL BE BACK :-)!! 

Thank you to all my regular clients and friends who supported us since our opening. You guys had gave me a lot of memorable and wonderful experienced. I shall end this post by sharing an article reviewed on Nexo.

http://www.star2.com/food/eating-out/2015/06/07/nexo-is-pork-paradise/

I look terrible in the picture. Haha. No make up plus strong light ;-)! Anyway, I'm very proud of myself because I fulfilled my dream! No regret!

Internet Harassment

About 2 months ago, I became the victim of a vicious internet harassment by an unknown person or persons. I was shocked and surprised to be targeted as I know very well I didn't offend anyone until to be so hated. Later I found out I became an innocent victim of circumstances. I was scared, shocked and very worried. I still am, but in lesser degree. Why? Because I won't allow this internet harassment to affect my life. Yes, I'm feeling vulnerable and unprotected as whoever is harassing me knows who I'm. I'm in the open, this person/persons is/are in the dark. I don't know when it will stop?I don't know how bad it will get? I don't know how much damage repair I have to do at a later stage? And the level of damage to my reputation?

I have no freaking clues. I just hope and pray that it will stop soon. I just pray hard I won't be a victim anymore. The saying that 'life is like a movie' describe my current situation perfectly. I'm having a prolong bad dream! Hopefully soon the bad dream will stop!

Well, now is time for me to sleep and try to dream of something good and beautiful......


Goodnite beautiful world :-)

Moving On

I thought it will take me longer to move on and I will still feel sad and hurt......but the truth is not anymore. I tried to think of him to see what are the lingering feeling I still have for him - not a particular feeling stands out. Just normal.

I have stopped thinking why he behaved the way he did with me. I have stopped trying to find the answer. I have stopped reflecting back on the good old days and the man I fell in love with. I just stopped thinking and feeling for him. In fact, I have developed aversion to his name. I have clients who have the same name as him and when I heard it, the negative images of him just flashed into my brain. So does this means I'm still mad at him?? Hmm.....maybe. But I don't think so. I think I just need a bit more time to get rid of the negative feelings he gave me and hearing his name being mentioned right now just conjured up unpleasant memories which I'm trying to forget. I think it is more like a residual feeling which I strongly believe will evaporate soon.

Anyway, I'm healing faster than I thought. As for my love feeling for him, I think it will be over soon too. I can't continue to love a man who doesn't feels sorry and remorseful for hurting me with his words and actions. I don't need to put up with his crappy and shitty behaviour. If some other people want to put with him, let them do it. Not me. I forgave him too many times until I lost count of it. Maybe because of my kindness and generosity, he took advantage of me and took me for granted. Hahaha. Anyway, is ok. The chapters are closed. Maybe 1 day we will cross path again, but at this moment I want him to stay out of my life. He has too much dramas and negative vibes in his life now.  He sucks my positive vibes and left me feeling angry, upset and stress. I don't need that! Beside someone will be very happy I'm not in his life anymore. Oh well....whatever!

I won't set out to hurt him intentionally by posting untrue facts about him, but I won't stop myself from expressing my feeling. All these posts about him were written based on the feelings he gave me.  Neither right or wrong. I know my posts are read by people around the world, probably including him as I know he wants to make sure I don't write anything detrimental about him. Hahaha!
I know what I wrote could be used against me, is ok. I have nothing to hide. I will always be true to myself and not living a double life where the private and public me are not align. Is not who I am!!

I will always be myself irregardless. My life, my choice, my decision!! Say what you mean and mean what you say!!

Always BE YOURSELF!! Too many fake people out there who have no guts to be their true self!! And I definitely won't be 1 of those fake people!! Always remember to BE YOURSELF!!

Chapters Closed

Last night I made the decision to close and end his chapters in my life as I don't want to subject myself to another heartbreak. Although I still love him, but for my own sanity and health, I need to walk out of his life. No matter how many times I forgave him, he never appreciates it. Is a vicious cycle. I just set myself up for more hurt and pain if I don't walk out from his life now. Although I still love him dearly, it is time to let go. To erase him from my heart and to forget that he means a lot to me. My heart dies on that day when he accused me of something I didn't do. I know I will never feel safe with him again. He might not hurt me intentionally, but he did hurt me. I can't trust him to keep his words and promises to me. If he can't honour his words and promises, I won't honour mine to him too. In life, we can't always take without giving. It is time for me to stop giving to him.

Maybe I sound bitter in all my posts, but I'm not. I'm just feeling very sad and hurt beyond words can describe and when this happened my actions are controlled by my feelings. I'm going into my own defend mechanism. I told him to leave me alone so that I can learn to stop loving and caring for him. I told him to be the bad guy so that I can hate him. I need to heal and the quickest way is to hate him. Because by hating him I will stop loving and caring for him.

He never says sorry for accusing me. He never takes back his hurtful words. All I want is for him to apologise genuinely. But is ok. His ego and pride are so HUGE he will never apologise. I will just blame myself for allowing and encouraging such a shitty behaviour from him. Even if he says sorry now, it is too late. I might still love him, but I can't trust him anymore. I love him, but I can't forgive him yet. I can't forget his accusations.

And I really don't care what he thinks of me or whether he knows me anymore. I'm just too hurt to even care. All I care now is healing myself. It is so hard to say goodbye to someone I love so much......but I need to. He never genuinely care for me and there was a motive behind all his actions. It was all about him, him and him!! He is my biggest lesson to date.

It is time to say GOODBYE.....

p.s. Suddenly I feel like going to war.....Not good as I'm not thinking, but rather reacting now!! There are a lot of naive women out there who choose to continue to believe in their man and stay with him even after they lied thru their teeth, cheated and hurt them. No matter how successful a woman is, she will continue to pretend and ignore his wrongdoings. I didn't ignore his, I just chose to give him 1 final chance, but he screws up this time and destroys our friendship that he claimed to value and lost my love for him. Done and over with him.

"I Am Sorry"

Three simple words, but the power of these three simple words is massive especially when the person who says it is sincere. These are the 3 simple words that everyone wish to hear from the person who hurts them. It is a quickest and simplest way to make amend. It won't erase the hurt, but at least it is the 1st step to healing. Saying "I am sorry" doesn't mean losing your ego, but it means you are admitting and owing up to your mistake. It shows that you are remorseful for causing hurts, sadness and pain to another person because of your words and actions. It shows that you are brave enough to admit you are wrong and you want to make peace and work things out. It also shows that you value the person and the relationship/friendship more than your ego and being right.

But then to some people, saying I am sorry is like pulling a tooth without anesthesia therefore they are unwilling to do so. For some, it is because of ego and pride. This category of people always think they are right and will never admit they are wrong. They will twist the fact and blame you instead. Or even if they do apologised, their apology isn't sincere or genuine.

A sincere apology should just be simple and straightforward. For example, "I am sorry I hurt you". "I am sorry for making you cry". "I am sorry I doubted you. It won't happen again". Basically, take responsibility for your words and actions and accept the repercussions.

A non-sincere apology will be like, "I am sorry, but you started it" or "I am sorry that you misunderstood me." This type of apology is still blaming the other party for triggering the fight/argument. A lot of people fall into this category.

So which category I fall into? Most of the time I apologise sincerely, but there were times I felt I was arm twisted into saying sorry hence it fell into non-sincere category.

Learn to apologise sincerely especially when you know you are wrong. It goes a long way with the person who received and accepted your apologise. But then again, there is also very high possibility that you will never get any apology. It all depends on the person ......whether he/she is willing to accept his/her mistakes.

If a person who hurts me deeply refuses to apologise to me, I won't force the person to do it because then it isn't a sincere apology. Never ever force someone to apologise especially when they don't want to admit their mistakes. I will let them be, but I won't respect them anymore and I will stop caring for them.

So when you need to apologise, please do it sincerely so that the receiving party feels better and also to show that you take responsibility for your actions and words. It is utmost important to be a responsible person! Remember that!

Hurt & Sad

I'm still feeling very hurt and sad. I could actually feel the pain in my heart and my tears rolled down automatically when I recalled the accusation. It feels like my heart is crying and I can't control my tears at all. It just came rolling down my cheeks. Some hurt will pass by quickly, but some not. And this fall into the latter category. It is truly a terrible feeling when told by someone you cared that you are not trustworthy and accused as a bad person. I thought I could numb it, but I couldn't. The words keep haunting my thoughts. I couldn't understand why it happened. When you argued with someone you cared, don't you argued fairly? Don't you asked before jumping to conclusion? Don't you asked before you make accusation, especially a grave one? One you know deep down the person you accused is not capable of, but yet you decided to accuse that person.

I wonder how long it will takes me to get over the hurt?? Is there a quick remedy for it? I don't want to feel sad and cry again. But I know I will.

Why do you need to hurt me so badly Peter Wittendorp? Why are you so heartless, cold and manipulative with your actions toward me? Why? What had I did to you to deserve such a treatment from you?? 😢😢

Life Ugliness

Ugliness finds it way into our life on a daily basis. Some of us are luckier not to experience it regularly, but some have to deal with it daily. No one can escape life ugliness, at least no one that I know off didn't experienced it at least once in their life.

So, what can we do about it? Well, we definitely can't run away from it so the answer is to face it, overcome it and learn from it. As mentioned in my previous post, today is a sad and black day for me because I had experienced first hand how ugly a person can turns into when having to deal with unpleasantness constantly. Very unfortunate, I was on the receiving end of it.

So how do I deal with it? Keep a positive and optimistic thinking and don't allow this ugliness to affect me too much. It won't be easy, but I'm strong willed and happy go lucky person so I believe I will overcome it.

When ugliness hits you in the face constantly, we can choose to let it affect us and turn bitter, angry, revengeful or even mean. Or we can choose to stay positive, optimistic and keep the goodness in us. Fighting evil with evil will actually hurt us more than anything. It will make us lose the core us, see darkness everywhere we look and see the negatives side of people. I don't want to be in this category at all. Therefore I choose brightness over darkness. I believe that goodness will win over ugliness!

If you want your life to be beautiful and happy, don't allow life ugliness eats into your soul and change the core you. We can always win a fight by fighting with a good heart and a clear conscience. Never ever allow the core you to be compromised. Why? Because at the end of the day you might win the battle, but you might have lost the goodness in yourself, people who care about you and anything that you have to sacrifice to win the battle.

We can't run away from life ugliness, but we have the choice to choose how we want to face, handle and fight off this ugliness. So choose wisely.

Sad Day - 18.4.16

Today is the darkest and saddest day in my personal life. I was accused by Peter Wittendorp whom I used to care, treasure, value and love dearly of something I didn't do. It wasn't a one-off accusation but 2x. I'm feeling very hurt now. I never thought that he would hurt me this deeply and badly. I'm feeling like being stabbed in my heart repeatedly. I trusted him not to hurt me, but I was naive to think so. I'm speechless now as I can't think of any words to describe my hurt and heartache. Is a long overdue wake-up call. I just didn't expect it to hit me in this form.

I feel very stupid now! Stupid for caring. Stupid for wanting to help. Stupid for being trusting. Stupid for believing and seeing the good in him. Stupid to think he is genuinely a good hearted person. Stupid to think that he won't hurt me repetitively. So scary as I don't know who is him anymore. I thought I understood 90% of who he is, but not anymore. He shows me a side that is mean, cold, calculated and selfish. Very scary. A stranger to me now. We used to be so closed. All the care, trust and faith I had in him are destroyed the moment he accused me of something I didn't do. How could those devious thought of me crossed his mind and left his mouth?? 😔😔. He is uncaring and heartless.

I accept my stupidity, learn from it and make sure I won't repeat the same mistake again. But I won't allow it to change the core me. I'll not shed another drop of tear for him as it isn't worth it. I'm still feeling hurt and sad, but I believe tomorrow will be a brand new day, brand new chapter and brand new start for me. My heart dies tonight. My conscious is clear and I can sleep well. Tomorrow will be a new heart beating again.

The universe is definitely teaching me a lesson. A painful one for sure. Be strong Serena!! You will pull through. Doesn't matter what Peter thinks or accused you off. As long as you know you are innocent, that's all that matters.

Smile silly girl :-)!! Tomorrow is definitely a brand new day with bright blue sky!! I will continue to live my life as excitingly and colourfully as possible. I will heal by writing.