Sunday, September 24, 2017

My feeling in Rhodes & my b'day celebration on 12th August

I'm very happy that I selected Kokkini Porta Rossa as my hotel because I feel very at home here. I feel peaceful and blissful. I could sit in the windy and cool courtyard for hours and without feeling bored. I just idle my day away without doing anything. All I want to do is just enjoy the tranquility and coolness of the place. It allowed me to regain my balance in life and get rid of any negative feelings that I might still harbour in me. This trip has been great so far as I'm finally able to understand how to appreciate being surrounded by new people and not feel lonely. Nikon and Angela have become fast friends and I think I will continue to stay in touch with them as I don't only enjoy their company but also like them personally. They have interesting tales to tell and from them and their experiences I have gained other insights into life.

I don't feel the need to fill my life with acitivities or people anymore. Although I had my birthday dinner by myself, I didn't feel alone or lonely. I actually felt good and actually enjoyed a quiet delicious dinner at Marco Polo. But of course, Angela wouldn't allowed that hence she told the owner of the restaurant it was my birthday and they sang me happy birthday song and gave me complimentary dessert.

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For the 1st time among all my birthday trips, I never wish to celebrate my birthday with someone special. I used to wish I have a man in my life to celebrate my birthday with me, but this year such a thought vanished. I felt really happy and contented spending time by myself. I felt complete and fulfilled which I never thought it was possible 😀. I know that mentally I have reached a new breakthrough as well as emotionally.

I learned my own actual self-worth and how to be contented with life little pleasures such as idling my time away doing nothing, but sitting in the lovely , breezy and peaceful courtyard for a few hours and don't feel bored or tired or the pressure to go out for site visits. Btw, the tree is 200 years old 😀! The owners built around it. I never get bored looking at it. Made me feel calmed and relaxed.

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And I'm so so so happ that finally, my heart is healed and I have forgiven myself for all the mistakes I made in the past. My urged to write to him one last time via letter had gone and although he does popped into mind occasionally it passed by quickly too. It was a flitting thought about him and I'm fine with it. After all, he had contributed in partly shaping me into who I have become today - a better version of my old self as I learned and understand myself deeper discovered new facets about my feelings and emotions.

It was a great decision to spend my birthday in Rhodes. I have finally set myself free from my own misgivings 😊😉. I'm happy, contented and pleased with myself and everything I have achieved thus far in life from the bottom of my heart! 

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