ABOUT PETER & I
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice and laughter
Embrace the sensation of my mind
Feel from the bottom of your heart
For once, don't think and don't analyse the friendship/relationship between us
Just be honest with yourself and me
Don't put what we have built in the last 6 months on back burner
We want the same thing - to be more than friend. This is a fact
I wasn't hallucinating about your feeling for me
I wasn't delusional about what you want from me and where you want us to be
You can read back all the emails you sent to me
Your messages were loud and clear
But your voice was silent
You said you didn't play mind games with me
Hence, what you wrote in the 950 emails were your honest feelings for me
Then why are you denying it?
Why do you have to make me feel like I was throwing myself at you?
When I wasn't at all
I was just reacting and reciprocating to your feelings for me
I'm not needy or desperate
I just value the mental connection we have made
We both know it isn't easy to be able to connect to someone mentally
But we found it in each other
To throw it away now is a waste
I know you are not emotionally available and connected to me yet
I understand because I'm in the same shoes as you
But at least I'm trying on my end
I will give you time, but please don't take forever
Because I might not be around on this planet tomorrow
I might DIE tonight when I go out
No one knows the future
Live for the present
There is an expiry date for everything
Including life
Don't let me be your regret and loss
When it need not be as I'm still around
You said I'm a distraction
I still don't understand why
Especially when you are still looking at my pics
Thinking of me occasionally
Hahaha.
You are impossible at times
I don't know why I like you so much
I wish I didn't
But I do
So nothing I can do about it
Except to accept the fact
If you really want me to forget my feeling and mental connection to you
I WILL
But you have to look me in the eyes and tell me directly
Not thru emails or SMSes or phone calls
Tell me in person if you truly want me to move on
Without giving you a final chance
BELIEVE ME
I can move on right now even if I want to
I just don't want to do it yet
I just want ONE last try
Before I give up on you entirely
I'm a strong woman
I gave up on you 6x in the last 8 years
I will have no problem doing it again
Please don't underestimate me
I'm not what you think I'm
You haven't know me well enough
I hope you will soon
Your indifferent frustrated me sometimes
But the good thing about me is
I move on and forget fast
That's the beauty of ME :-)
Take some times to understand me
You will be surprised and impressed
By your DISCOVERY
I'm like an onion
With many layers for you to peel off
Before you get to the heart and core of ME
You didn't contacted me just wanting to be my friend
We are always friend
You wanted and still want something more
You want to be my LOVER
But the timing sucks
I was truly disappointed when you BROKE your promised to fly to KL
I forgave you because I trust you
I was doubtful of your reasons
Because it was such a coincident
But I chose to TRUST YOU
Therefore I forgave you
I hope you wouldn't disappoint me again
Or break your promises to me anymore
I'm a simple woman
I just want to enjoy you as much as possible
Before it is too late
If you care and like me so much as you said
Don't let me go
Don't push me aside
Don't keep me at arm length
Show me the real YOU
And allow me to show you ME
We will be best friend and lover
An experience you will never forget
Wow, the above rhyme. I'm impressed with myself.
Hahaha
A poignant and touching poem. If I can call it that
Hehehe
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